A Ceiling Full of Stars

"Hi. Today, I learned why they say that ignorance is bliss. I learned something I would have been better off not knowing. I learned how to hurt again."

For a while, it was like a dreamland come true. I felt... Well, I wouldn't say that I felt like a princess. But I definitely... Felt something different than I have for a very long time. The feeling like I was the only one. Feeling like I could fly. Feeling like I was up so high... Floating in the sky. All that was above me was a ceiling full of stars.

But then it all came crashing down. I came crashing down. The dreamland faded, and crumbled, and broke, and as it did, so did I.

Don't you hate when that happens?

When, in the midst of what little happiness you have, it takes just one tiny moment, one small gap, one pinprick of light to cause all of that to disappear?

I didn't want to know it. I had thought of it, yes. It had come to mind more than once. On many occasions did I notice things I didn't really want to. I suspected it. But I had never really thought of what would happen if I were to know for sure...

Now I do.

Fuck.

Don't you hate when you find out something you weren't supposed to, something that someone important was trying to hide from you? Something that causes your day to flip from bright to dark, from warm to cold, from happy to sad...

A ceiling full of stars.
So many pinpricks of light...
So distant.
So cold.
So dark.
So alone.

Maybe I'm still up here after all.

goodbye
ttyl :)

P.S- Maybe happiness is just an illusion created by the gaps in time when we aren't sad... Maybe... Happiness is just the absence of sadness, of anger, of loss, a momentary lapse in our downward spiral of inevitable defeat.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g1qiPGmYJA4&feature=related